I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
So. Much. Porn.
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