anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
