You're a womanizer and a bitch.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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