Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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