When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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