when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
