Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
