somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
