Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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