remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
