so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
