Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I have aggressive nipples.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
