also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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