nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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