If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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