We won't sleep together?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
