It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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