Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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