1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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