nut hugger
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
