I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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