I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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