Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
