At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
