Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
