we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
is wine microwaveable?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
