how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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