we made out on top of his cat.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
soo... how was my night?
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