So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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