also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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