i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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