Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
