she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
