i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
