apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
