you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Two words: blizzard sex
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
