i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
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