I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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