i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
