I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
