hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
