my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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