....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
