i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize