Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
