It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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