Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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