Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
