How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Hippo gnu deer
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
