well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
