Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize