IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
