fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
