i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
We just shotgunned beers for America
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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