You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
