Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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